speaking the language of dogs

9 May

i was sitting in my apartment dreaming up a scene and in this daydream I was at a bar and there were people sitting at a booth laughing and drinking and having what i assumed was a good time and there was a guy at a stand up table drinking from a pitcher of pabst and he was explaining roman history to a bunch of what i guess were young college students, hungry for knowledge and an answer to all their identity questions and in my day dream or night day dream since it was past 8pm, the bartender told me to not worry, that it would happen tomorrow and when i asked what would happen, he said “you’ll hear” and sure enough, the next morning a dog’s nasty mean bark woke me up, almost an hour before my obnoxious alarm clock was gonna do the same thing. i didn’t know how to translate the dog’s bark message into my english thinking mind, so i took it as a rally cry, to answer people’s questions that day, of “how are you doing?” with a long winded a-z requiem of things that pissed me off.

10 Responses to “speaking the language of dogs”

  1. Bob May 10, 2022 at 12:49 pm #

    I don’t know if I can exactly put my finger on how your post works, but it does… I’m ready to bark at the next person who asks how I am doing.

    • Steve Myers May 10, 2022 at 9:00 pm #

      i think i got part of the idea for this post from a guy i used to work with. he’s from belarussia, works in robotics. he said it’s never a good idea to ask someone in belarussia how they’re doing, unless they’re ready for an a-z of complaints.

      • Bob May 11, 2022 at 12:28 pm #

        I used to work with someone from Belarus too. And when she came here, she told me how shocked she was that everyone in America smiled and said hello to each other. And she wasn’t used to that at all.

        • Steve Myers May 11, 2022 at 9:11 pm #

          i knew some spanish guys, from seville and the thing that surprised them when they were in milwaukee was seeing so many people eating alone. i thought that was kind of interesting. I don’t mind eating with other people for the potential conversation and what not, but i don’t mind eating alone either.

          • Bob May 11, 2022 at 10:28 pm #

            Interesting. I don’t mind eating alone either. I just found out the peanut butter isn’t a world revered food. That lots of countries think it’s weird we eat peanut butter.

            • Steve Myers May 11, 2022 at 10:48 pm #

              the one problem i have with peanut butter and it’s the only problem because i love peanuts in the shells and peanut butter…..but this evolutionary? change of adding oil to the top of a peanut butter jar that requires us to mix it together. maybe, i’m just being lazy, but i prefer the old way when it was already mixed and all we had to do was twist the jar, peel back the foil and enjoy.

              • Bob May 11, 2022 at 10:52 pm #

                Haha. I have to admit that when that first happened I thought great, better it’s natural. But what I found was I didn’t put the enough time in mixing it, so by the end of the jar all I had left was incredibly dry hard peanut butter that bent the butter knife as I tried to get it out of the jar.

                • Steve Myers May 12, 2022 at 12:35 am #

                  i have a similar problem with honey. it might be because my basement apartment is too humid. after a few weeks the honey stops flowing. gets hard so i do like you and insert the butter knife to extract some and then spread it like jelly on some toast, but the jar is too big and the honey too far away. i can’t reach it and even when i do salvage a bit my hand gets so damn sticky…..pisses me off so i throw the bottle of honey away. i don’t know what to do for breakfast anymore. i’m thinking about fasting until my work break at 10, eat a power bar…should be good till lunch. i guess it was easier for our cave man ancestors.

                  • Bob May 12, 2022 at 12:26 pm #

                    Haha…maybe our cave man ancestors did have easier in some ways.

  2. colorsetbrushes May 15, 2022 at 11:48 am #

    Reblogged this on colorsetbrushes.

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