discovering bukowski new friend hero big brother

12 Apr

i’m not too confusing when it comes to words probably because i don’t know too many but i know enough to get by during the day to day conversation at work and grocery store cashier and writing my blog posts and baseball short stories and i did learn a great new word a few days ago. it was on the back cover of a henry miller book. the word is jeremiad and if you’re so curious to know what it means, well, i’m not gonna spoil it for you……..go and look it up and have a sudden mind bottle rocket. so anyway, yeh, i know enough words to read a book and i like to read, all sorts of books from henry miller to viktor frankl to arnold hano and i’m glad to say that i understand a lot of them or maybe not miller…he’s a bit confusing at times, but then there’s charles bukowski. i recently read my first bukowksi book. i had previously read a bunch of his poems and he is great because he’s so straight forward and easy to understand but that’s not why i love him. it’s because in the videos I’ve seen of him, he strikes me as a bad ass and in the movie about him with Mickey rourke playing him, he gets into fights and so he’s like a big brother to appreciate for me because i’m kind of a wimp, backing down from confrontations and kind of living like a slave with an 8-4 warehouse job so i can get insurance and pension and all of that and a tombstone and some stupid epitaph on that stone. and i’ve only read that one bukowski book – ham on rye so i got a lot to look forward to and since he’s dead i guess i have a new drinking partner. bukowski might be a ghost but he’ll be an ornery one and that might be better or more real than me drinking alone and getting too sappy or erudite.

psychotherapy and bumper cars

1 Apr

yes, we could talk, it’s been many years…we should talk…we will talk,
i will say things up and you will counter with things down
and we will, without really thinking about it,
hold hands and stop talking…

yesterday root canal

26 Mar

dear anaesthesia
you magic numb
i love you!

a short history of locks

23 Nov

i forget which king was obsessed by locks, but it was a while ago, but it’s also today. i mean whoever trains to be a locksmith must love locks, the whole concept of them, the keeping strangers or demons or thieves outside the door and/or outside their minds. and the keys for the private party allowed in. it’s like keeping kids from reading jean genet, to make sure they turn into citizens that don’t corrupt the youth, but corrupt shut up, not all kids are destined to be angels. just look at halloween. way more kids dress up as scary skeletons or ax murderers than jesus though there was that crazy judah from the old testament. his son died and he slept with this son’s wife. i forget which son, but the wife’s name was tamara ( i love that name tamara like a boston way of saying tomorrow) and so after the son died, she, the widow, lived i think on the other side of some river and for some reason or no reason at all, she was dressed up like a prostitute one day. (back then they called a prostitute a harlot and on some websites they probably still do) and judah slept with tamara and she got pregnant and if you follow the line of births after their newborn, it leads to king david and that leads to jesus eventually ( you can look it up for yourself) so the whole world is built on some lock that was unlocked, some moral broken – to not sleep with your son’s wife even if your son is dead, but of course judah had no way of knowing that the harlot was tamara, his dead son’s wife but that goes to show you that teepees had no locks on them and anything was possible or i don’t know what i’m talking about….i’m a little bit drunk as all that liquid stuck in a bottle, stored on a shelf, all locked up, just waiting to be adopted and owned and then have its cap twisted off, its neck massaged, its liquid contents drained into thirsty mouths, bodies and brains enjoying a vacation.

mystic pervert

3 Nov

i was walking to work and i saw something beautiful and i thought about stopping and masturbating and then i saw a beautiful statue and i thought again about masturbating again and then i went to work and then i walked home from work and turned on my computer and looked at some pictures and yeh, again, i thought about masturbating, but i didn’t.

on raised cherries

31 Oct

it wasn’t if the devil or angel became her friend. it was if the devil or angel brought her to a feeling of good, a dance in aisle 7 of the grocery store, a smile at a stranger on the street, a pretending to be happy and then it suddenly happened, for a few seconds anyway, she was happy, merci devil angel.

lift off space ship to the never really completely understood tomorrow

17 Sep

i had a bad day and then it got good and then it got bad and then it got good again, swinging tango adventure. You can do it Brie! Hector, you can too! Me too, what the fuck. I can do it. Bernadette, you can do it! Larissa, you can do it! Frankie, you  can do it! The birds can do it!! The spiders can do it!! Everybody can do it and when we all do it, ya wanna dance?

flamenco hobokin dancing on cars

14 Sep

i’ve never been atop a car.
i’ve never danced on top of a car.
it must be fun waking up in a new culture,

rerouted rivers

10 Sep

when they tell us
to not take 2,
to not mix it with alcohol,
to stay away from that Damen Millins bad kid,
to not take the bus downtown,
to not climb the flag pole and change the flag,
to not stay awake past midnight,
to not walk barefoot on cement or grass,
well, shit god damn,
maybe it’s time we did.  

house still on fire

4 Sep

i was walking along,
in no particular direction,
in no particular neighborhood.
i was just walking and i saw this house.
it had caught on fire.
the shutters were hanging down like suicides,
but the house hadn’t turned totally charbroiled,
there were some red and orange streaks
and it got me thinking about symbols.
i walked inside
and something pushed me down to the basement,
to under the steps.
that’s where I spotted a blood-colored heart and inside was written
i looked at it a while and then climbed back upstairs, all that sizzling around me and all those wood boards falling. I was never scared. I knew that the heart and those names would survive. i walked away thinking I should definitely talk to a stranger.

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